My husband can’t marry a second wife ‘cos I’m not careless with him
In her days as a spinster she was a belle. Even as a grandmother with over three-decade marriage experience, Mrs Okikiola Lasaki, Proprietress of Jelly-Las Schools has lost none of her tempting youthful allure. “Don’t be deceived by my look, I am already close to 60,” she enthused. Her charming look, she said, is a gift from God. “I can’t say there is a particular thing I do that is making me look this young. I believe it is God’s grace.”
The Ondo State-born Amazon may not need an extra exercise to keep her body fit as she has got enough on her laps that keeps her body warm. As if the work of running the school is not enough, she has recently taken up another responsibility. She is now a president of OMEP, an association for early childhood education.
Her very busy schedule, she told National LIFE, was the key reason why it took her about three weeks to respond for this interview. “I am very busy these days because of my new responsibility as OMEP President. OMEP is a French acronym. It is an international association for early childhood education.
“It is an association that involves travelling from one country to another. We travel every year to different countries for our yearly conference. This year’s conference is going to take place in Lagos during the first week of August. Our conference is a very big event that attracts members from different parts of the world. So, there is a lot of preparation to be made before the time. This is why I couldn’t respond to you in time,” she explained.
Mid-way to the interview, it became clear that her excuse might not be far from being genuine as she had to pause many times to attend to her workers on several official matters. “You can see what I just said,” she said as she collected a document from one of her staff for endorsement. A moment later, it was another necessary interruption that lasted for more than 15 minutes. Not until she put the last dot on a cheque before she could continue with the interview. “I have to quickly discharge all of them to allow us enjoy this interview,” she quipped.
But in spite of those interruptions, the boss of Jelly-Las schools, a leading Lagos children school, was a journalists’ delight. She was indeed in her elements as she took National LIFE down memory lane, recalling her intriguing early life and marriage experiences, how she started the school, among other things.
Father’s Pet
I am from the popular Akinkugbe family in Ondo State. Growing up in Ondo then was very exciting because I enjoyed an uncommon love from my father. I was his pet because I was very gentle. He loved me a lot. When I was a child, he loved me so much that he was always carrying me about. Any time my elder sisters and I did something wrong, he would beat all of them but spare me.
Dreams
My regular dream when I was young was to grow up and help people. I like caring for people. I thought I was going to become a nurse so as to get my dreams realised. But even now I am happy that I ended up in a position to take care of children.
Working with Nigeria Airways
My first job was with the Nigeria Airways. I worked in so many departments before retiring. I worked in computer department. I worked in Account, credit control and so on. I was transferred to these departments because of the trust the management had in me.
Jelly Las
Like I said early, I love taking care of people. That was part of the reason why I started this school 23 years ago. My sister whom I live with in Lagos here also influenced me. She was a teacher and she always gave me her students’ scripts to mark. I enjoyed doing this a lot and that was part of what influenced my decision to start my own school. I started the school with my last daughter, Yeside.
The challenge
The beginning was very challenging because I needed to convince people to bring their children. Many parents would not even pay you a dime, yet one must not give up or send the pupils back to their parents. My priority then was to get as many pupils as possible to keep the school going. But with God and the support of my husband, I was able to weather the storm. Other challenges have cropped up since the school’s establishment. For instance, there has always been need to get quality teachers who have to be well paid. But because we are being constrained by the location because no matter how much you pay on equipping the school with modern education facilities you cannot charge the kind of school fees that schools in Ikoyi, Lekki or Victoria Island will charge, even though we offer the same quality of services. Some of them are not even doing as much as we are doing here. In addition to this, the global economic melt-down is also affecting the school. Many parents have lost their job and because of that they would not pay their children’s school fees in time. These are some of the challenges.
Dream for school
My dream is to make Jelly-Las a world-class school with branches spread all over the world. I also want to see products of my school getting to the top of their careers and making histories, and getting known across corners of the world. That is my dream for this school and I know we will get there.
Meeting hubby
I met my husband while I was working in Nigeria Airways. He was a custom’s officer serving with the airways. That was how we met and when he started wooing me, I took my time to observe him. In our days, men were willing to marry you and there were many of them then, unlike now when women are begging men to marry them. I was very sure that he was the right person for me before I accepted him. He was so different among all the men I knew then. He was simple, loving and very nice. These were the things that made to fall in love with him and I never regret choosing him. We courted for about a year before we finally decided to settle down.
Courtship
It was a sizzling courtship, which lasted for almost a year. After I came into his life, I did not give other women a chance to distract him. Even when he got a transfer, I was always there with him.
Muslim/Christian marriage
My coming from a Christian background did not affect my decision to marry my husband. My parents did not raise any objection either since they knew I love him. I have accepted everything about my husband. To me, religion should not be a barrier to marriage so long as you are not married to a pagan. Once both of you are genuinely in love, the rest could be taken care of.
Fear of second wife
I had no such feeling or fear because I knew the kind of person I was getting married to. I knew he loved me and having realised this, I gave him all my love in return and was careless with him. He would not even think of a second wife because I was not careless with him at all. Like I told you, even after marriage I tried to be around him all the time. I was policing him. While I was working in the airways, travelling by air was very easy for me. My husband as an officer was always on transfer. I was always with him. I would travel to see him without even notifying him. By weekend like this, I would carry the children and drop them with him and come back to Lagos. So, he too was always careful with his movement. The issue of second wife is not only peculiar to Muslims, even some Christians too marry more than one wife. So, it is not about the religion, it is about the person.
Honeymoon
We did not have any honeymoon maybe because it was not in vogue during our time. After the wedding ceremony we went back to our works and everything went on as usual.
What they share in common
Simplicity. That is one feature that I can confidently say that we share in common. My husband is a very simple man. He does not like trouble and anything that involves trouble. I am also a very simple person, so both of us are the same in that area. Another thing that we share in common is the love for children. We both demonstrate a very strong love for and commitment to our children. When t comes to taking care of children, my husband is even better than me. If a child is crying in my hand and my husband takes him or her, that child will stop crying and take all the food. He knows how to pet a child a lot.
Difference
The difference between us is that he doesn’t like too much stress like what I encounter every day here. He likes living a life devoid of trouble. I am the only one that has a knack for this entrepreneur thing.
First few years of marriage
I did not have any unpleasant experience in my first few years of marriage because of the kind of husband that I have. He is very caring. He was always ready to assist me. He would even take care of the baby on my behalf. He was always assisting me in everything and he did not give trouble. His family too did not give me trouble.
Achievements
I thank God for my life. To establish a school of this size is not easy but I am happy for the grace of God. The school, with the big size and the standard, is a success story. I have also been able to do the basic things that a woman is expected to do in life. I am happily married with lovely children and grand children. I thank God for my life and my good health.
Story by JIBOLA OYEKUNLE
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